Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Cold and steel
Although there are many far prettier places in the surrounding area (with much nicer views of Lake Ontario) Hamilton is starting to have an appeal of its own.
Here's an example. The town is backed by an escarpment (laughably known as the 'mountain', even though it's 50 metres high at the most), and the views from it are pretty amazing, especially at night. The whole of Hamilton is lit up, with the smoke from the steel mills in the background turning orange in the light and making it look like the city is in flames. It's a scene of apocalyptic beauty I've never seen anywhere else.
The steel mills themselves are also pretty cool. They're so huge and so numerous that they kind of look majestic as you drive past them. It almost makes you forget the ugly slag heaps that also surround the town (not to mention the ones that live there - only joking!).
And we're finally starting to settle in here. We've got an apartment (albeit rented) and joined a gym. The gym is hilariously conservative. Anyone who thinks there's anything remotely attractive about me working out should get a lobotomy or something, but a member of staff actually told me to cover up with a t-shirt the other day! Apparently showing your shoulders or tummy is showing off (they haven't seen my tummy then).
There's also a women's only part of the gym upstairs, with periodic announcements of "Notice to women in the gym upstairs, a male is about to enter". Sweet heavens, no!!!!!!! A male?!?!?! Quick, bring me my wimple! Honestly.
Another thing that makes me laugh about my life in Canada is my Italian family. If anyone's seen "While You Were Sleeping" and the family conversations in that film, then you've got the idea. A conversation at the dinner table will go something like this:
"These rapini [Italian version of broccoli] cost me only $2 at Loblaws [Canadian supermarket]"
"$2? You were ripped off. I saw them just the other day at the No Frills for $1."
"Yeah, but these rapini taste better."
"Taste? What's to taste? Rapini is rapini. I'm saying you were ripped off."
"Yeah, but I'm saying these are fresher so they taste better."
"Ah, it's all in your mind. You were ripped off."
And so on, round and round, ad infinitum, until you have to talk a walk outside just to hear yourself think. The person insisting that somebody was "ripped off" is usually my uncle Joe, who should get an Olympic gold for repeating himself. But I love them all dearly, and if you ever need advice they'll be more than happy to give it.
There are lots of other good things too. I was in a gas (sorry, petrol) service station the other day when I noticed a tray that said "Leave a penny, take a penny" (no, it didn't say anything about spending a penny, for all the five-year-olds out there). Apparently, it's where you leave your pennies so they don't jangle around in your pockets and weigh your purse down, and then if anyone needs change when they're buying something later on, it's right there. How cool a concept is that? If you had the same thing in Britain, the pennies would get ripped off as soon as the station attendant's back was turned. I remember when they introduced bikes in Oxford that you could ride for free, then leave somewhere for someone else to ride. Great idea, but the bikes got stolen within days. Here, a scheme like that would work. If it wasn't so flippin' cold.
Actually, the cold isn't that bad. Okay, it was -10 on Sunday night and Lake Ontario was frozen, but the heating is so good here and the houses so well insulated, that you really don't feel it much. It's not damp either, so the cold doesn't soak into your bones like in England. So despite my fears, the cold is actually liveable with, and when it snows it's very pretty.
Finally, the latest in the series of Hilarious Signs. On a leaflet for a home security system: "A home or business is burglarized every three minutes."
Let's have a competition. The word that should have been used instead is:
(a) Burglised
(b) Burgled
(c) Burgers
(d) Some other hideous American convolution of a perfectly simple word.
Notarise your commentations, please, by postating a replication to this blogarithm.
Here's an example. The town is backed by an escarpment (laughably known as the 'mountain', even though it's 50 metres high at the most), and the views from it are pretty amazing, especially at night. The whole of Hamilton is lit up, with the smoke from the steel mills in the background turning orange in the light and making it look like the city is in flames. It's a scene of apocalyptic beauty I've never seen anywhere else.
The steel mills themselves are also pretty cool. They're so huge and so numerous that they kind of look majestic as you drive past them. It almost makes you forget the ugly slag heaps that also surround the town (not to mention the ones that live there - only joking!).
And we're finally starting to settle in here. We've got an apartment (albeit rented) and joined a gym. The gym is hilariously conservative. Anyone who thinks there's anything remotely attractive about me working out should get a lobotomy or something, but a member of staff actually told me to cover up with a t-shirt the other day! Apparently showing your shoulders or tummy is showing off (they haven't seen my tummy then).
There's also a women's only part of the gym upstairs, with periodic announcements of "Notice to women in the gym upstairs, a male is about to enter". Sweet heavens, no!!!!!!! A male?!?!?! Quick, bring me my wimple! Honestly.
Another thing that makes me laugh about my life in Canada is my Italian family. If anyone's seen "While You Were Sleeping" and the family conversations in that film, then you've got the idea. A conversation at the dinner table will go something like this:
"These rapini [Italian version of broccoli] cost me only $2 at Loblaws [Canadian supermarket]"
"$2? You were ripped off. I saw them just the other day at the No Frills for $1."
"Yeah, but these rapini taste better."
"Taste? What's to taste? Rapini is rapini. I'm saying you were ripped off."
"Yeah, but I'm saying these are fresher so they taste better."
"Ah, it's all in your mind. You were ripped off."
And so on, round and round, ad infinitum, until you have to talk a walk outside just to hear yourself think. The person insisting that somebody was "ripped off" is usually my uncle Joe, who should get an Olympic gold for repeating himself. But I love them all dearly, and if you ever need advice they'll be more than happy to give it.
There are lots of other good things too. I was in a gas (sorry, petrol) service station the other day when I noticed a tray that said "Leave a penny, take a penny" (no, it didn't say anything about spending a penny, for all the five-year-olds out there). Apparently, it's where you leave your pennies so they don't jangle around in your pockets and weigh your purse down, and then if anyone needs change when they're buying something later on, it's right there. How cool a concept is that? If you had the same thing in Britain, the pennies would get ripped off as soon as the station attendant's back was turned. I remember when they introduced bikes in Oxford that you could ride for free, then leave somewhere for someone else to ride. Great idea, but the bikes got stolen within days. Here, a scheme like that would work. If it wasn't so flippin' cold.
Actually, the cold isn't that bad. Okay, it was -10 on Sunday night and Lake Ontario was frozen, but the heating is so good here and the houses so well insulated, that you really don't feel it much. It's not damp either, so the cold doesn't soak into your bones like in England. So despite my fears, the cold is actually liveable with, and when it snows it's very pretty.
Finally, the latest in the series of Hilarious Signs. On a leaflet for a home security system: "A home or business is burglarized every three minutes."
Let's have a competition. The word that should have been used instead is:
(a) Burglised
(b) Burgled
(c) Burgers
(d) Some other hideous American convolution of a perfectly simple word.
Notarise your commentations, please, by postating a replication to this blogarithm.
