Blame Canada

First of all, sorry for the lack of blog in the past few days - there hasn't been a whole lot to report, and I've been laid out with some annoying cold thing that saps all my energy so haven't been able to drag myself to the internet cafe (I bet fringe guy missed me - see previous entry).

We spent the weekend with Joe's family again, where my uncle Joe (I hope this doesn't confuse anyone) provided most of the entertainment. I'll have to stick his comments in a book one day - "Uncle Joe's little book of wisdom" or something. We were talking about whether we were left or right brained (ie logical or creative), when Uncle Joe chipped in.

"Me, I got no left brain."

Puzzled pause. My aunt, as usual, tried to make sense of what he said.

"You have a left brain, Joe."

"Nah, it was damaged in an accident one time. I'm glad I've got my right brain, it's the right brain for me. If it wasn't for my right brain I'd be a sunflower."

For a while not even my aunt could interpret. Then, eventually:

"You mean a vegetable?"

For the whole of Sunday lunch I was in stitches. Especially when (my husband) Joe was explaining about his job as a sales rep for used car warranties. Once we'd cleared it up with uncle Joe that these weren't warranties for soap (????) he got confused over the company name, Lubrico. He thought this meant Joe was selling lubricants or something.

By then I'd completely lost it. Fortunately, uncle Joe doesn't mind people laughing at him : )

In my de-energised state I've also been reading a lot about Canadian history. Before everyone goes "What history? The country's barely been around 200 years", there's more to this continent than just the English arriving. There's the French too. And before either of them, there's the First Nations (PC term for Indians).

It certainly adds a lot to the drab environment of Hamilton to imagine that it was overrun with Huron and Iroquois Indians just a few hundred years ago. What were people thinking, trying to wipe them out? "Gee, I'm fed up with beautiful intricate art and mesmerising tribal rituals. Let's bulldoze the place so we can stick up a Tim Horton's." I don't know.

By the way, before people start thinking "Stupid North Americans and their cultural insensitivity," the Canadians are descended from the English. And the French.

Well, whatever - the good thing is that there are still Indians around, and when summer comes I think I'll go and see a reserve. Who says Canada has no history? People who used to ritualistically torture and cannibalise their victims are more interesting than Shakespeare any day.

And speaking of Canada, I'm slightly closer to becoming a native myself! The nice people at Citizenship and Immigration Canada have decided (incredibly quickly) to accept my husband as my sponsor. This basically means he has to provide for me for a certain amount of time so I don't go on the dole or anything. So as long as they decide I'm genuinely married to him, I'm in! (I woke up next to him this morning and we had an argument before he left for work - seems genuine to me...)

I'll leave you with this interesting fact: Canada comes from the Iroquois Kanata, which means "our village". The Iroquois also invented the national sport of lacrosse, a game of inexplicable violence played with nets on the end of sticks.